Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
