No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
