I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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