The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
