I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dignity is for republicans.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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