I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
