all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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