i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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