Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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