Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I got inside last night via doggy door
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
