You're so nebulous sometimes
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
