There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
