he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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