Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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