Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
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