He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize