hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
