Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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