nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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