Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
