If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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