do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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