his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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