Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
