I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
