THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
