her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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