just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
