Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
