we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
