True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
