that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed