apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.