only if we run a train.
done.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
