Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
FUCK WHALES
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
