youre lurking in front of me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
