Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
