so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
