And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
