is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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