watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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