I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
