at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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