Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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