He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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