If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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