Your face is a jimmy john
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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