It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
