if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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