forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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