But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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