Me too!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
