I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
