I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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