Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize