By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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