i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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