This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
