she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
